A Stroke From the Brush...

You thought nipplegate was bad...

2007-01-13T20:47:00.000-05:00

Wait until the FCC returns to work next week.

Tickets to the Saints vs. Eagles playoff game, 1/13/07 - $500 (guess)
Funny t-shirt - $25.00
Getting to see the word "Fuck" on TV - Priceless

Just checking in

2006-05-21T18:00:00.000-04:00

You know it's been a long time since you've blogged if you're not sure what your user ID is.

That is all.

The final battle in this year’s “War on Easter”

2006-04-17T21:51:00.000-04:00

Lord I love Florida: Easter Bunny mall brawl shocks bystanders

Great American Poetry, Redux

2006-04-10T23:26:00.000-04:00

Early on in this blog, we reported on the great, untapped talent that is the poetry spammer. The poetry arrives in your inbox, hidden in a spam e-mail. But, if you only take a few seconds to unearth the hidden treasure, you will find poetry. A Stroke From the Brush... applauds this rebel poetry movement, and we give you the latest offering.

The following poetry arrives in an e-mail with the subject line: :)
It appears to be a spam e-mail to buy a diploma (Bachelor's Degree: $2,100,000
I'm assuming they are European, and think a comma amounts to a decimal in America-speak. $2.1 million for a bachelor's???)
Not one word was added, though I did remove a few, and change a few puncuation marks. And now I present you with...a poem

But, alas, it was, and the long, see-through citizen was swaying before humid heat,
by the light of the coals smouldering in the boiler,
I said, Hegemon, that the temple of the old faith would fall.
'Burn, burn, former life!'
Stranger swallowed the contents of his glass at one gulp.
The baritone belonged to none other than that evening's guest.
Now I am at peace - as I always am, incidentally, when you are here.

Squirrels are evil, part deux

2006-04-08T21:04:00.000-04:00

Tickgirl, thanks for the suggestions regarding the squirrel invasion. I checked out an anti-squirrel spray (also anti-raccoon!) , but they wanted $30 dollars for it. I thought about mixing up my own concoction with hot peppers, but before I had a chance to make it, I came home to find a cage built around the roses. J decided to break out his new round electric saw thingie and built a cage out of plastic netting and wood. It seems to be doing the job - we have two roses blooming, as of today! It is not the most attractive of yard ornaments, but it works.

I know, I've been a bad blogger

2006-03-31T18:45:00.000-05:00

Yea, I know, I've been neglecting my blogging duties lately. By the time I get home from work, I don't really feel like being in the same room as a computer. I've actually tried to write recently. In fact, the drafts are still sitting here waiting to be published, but they just don't live up to A Stroke From the Brush...'s standards. Not that this one does either. I'm feeling a little lazy today too, so

The Week In Review

The Good

The Office PSAs - if you didn't watch NBC's Must See TV last night, you missed these great, fake, PSAs. If you've never watched The Office, well, then you may not find them as funny.

The Bad

I hate squirrels. I used to think they were oooh so cute, running across the fence and drinking out of the bird bath. That's until they started eating the buds off my Peace roses. (Those lovely roses in the post below.) Someone in the neighborhood feeds them peanuts, which they like to bury everywhere, especially freshly planted areas of the yard.

Random Web Picture

Whew, I'm tired. Time for a glass of wine.

Green Acres Is the Place to Be...

2006-02-23T20:48:00.000-05:00

I love this gardening stuff! We ate our first home-grown tomatoes today, on a lovely warm baguette with some olive oil, basil, mozzarella and salt. Mmmmm. Here are some that remain on the vine for a little more ripening.

My roses are blooming again too!

In Memory of Andreas Katsulas

2006-02-18T10:51:00.000-05:00

"I believe that when we leave a place, part of it goes with us and part of us remains. Go anywhere in the station, when it is quiet, and just listen. After a while, you will hear the echoes of all our conversations, every thought and word we've exchanged. Long after we are gone .. our voices will linger in these walls for as long as this place remains. But I will admit .. that the part of me that is going .. will very much miss the part of you that is staying."

- G'Kar to Sheridan, "Objects in Motion", by J. Michael Strazynski

Memorial Video

The Official Blog Post of the XX Winter Olympics

2006-02-17T22:04:00.000-05:00

In honor of the Dharma & Greg episode, "The Official Dharma & Greg Episode of the 1998 Winter Olympics", I thought I should put together a little drinking game for the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin Torino, Italy. I know, the Olympics began a week ago today, but alas I was too busy to put this together. Besides, I'm still recovering from the Disco Inferno that was the opening ceremonies.

I shall be adding on to this game as the Games progress.

XX Winter Olympics Drinking Game

Take 1 Sip when

The "Olympic Flame" appears on-screen (borrowed directly from D&G)
The "Official Olympic theme song" is played
We learn about the hardships an Olympian faced before appearing in the Olympics
NBC describes an upcoming event with words like "Near-disaster"
Bob Costas appears on-screen (you'll need it)
Katie Couric buys some overpriced Italian goods or makes googly eyes at an Italian man on an episode of the "Official Today Show of the XX Winter Olympics"
You think to yourself, "I can do that!", while watching a 20-something year-old in perfect shape hurting down a hill at 16,839+ KM per hour.
NBC comes up with a kickname for an athlete or sporting event (the Herminator, "Uncle Buck")

Take 2 Sips when

An American "favorite" loses in some terribly embarrassing manner
An Olympian storms off the ice/snow in a huff

Take 3 Sips when

Bob Costas references a pop culture reference when describing something completely meaningless to the Winter Olympics (Hey Bob, remember Salt Lake - Was it necessary to give us the whole back history of The Band when Robbie Robertson was singing??)
We are reminded of the political problems or war involvement of a country. (Don't watch the Opening Ceremonies, you'll have Alcohol Poisoning)

Actually, the Opening Ceremonies were a study in the absurd. Dancing cows, dancing trees, huge beating hearts, roller-bladders with flames shooting from their backs and - and this is the best - the Parade of Nations walking to the Greatest Disco Hits of the 70s. I am not making that up. Oh, they did play some of the Greatest Pop Dance Hits of the Early 80s too. I think I heard Depeche Mode.

Songs heard during the Opening Ceremonies

KC and the Sunshine Band, "I'm Your Boogie Man"
Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive"
The Village People, "YMCA"
The Animals, "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" - played while Denmark marched (I shit you not)

Oh, and did I mention Yoko Ono showed up at the Opening Ceremonies to read the "Official Poem of the Olympics?

Rain rain go away

2006-02-04T16:39:00.000-05:00

Little did I know when I strolled into work Friday that someone had replaced my normal office building with a cruise ship. It looked normal enough until around 10 or 11 am, when we started to notice cars floating by in the road outside our office.

Like many others, we found this very distracting, and instead of sitting at our computers doing real work, we started taking bets on the drivers who braved (really stupided - is that a word?) the water, and tried to make it out of the office complex. You really do learn something about human nature while watching a person in a Camry pull around cones set up to block them from flood waters, while other cars, hazards a'flashing, litter the road in front of them. What could be going through their mind?

"Hmm, I really want to go out for lunch, but wow is it ever raining. Hah, look at the car up ahead with the water almost up to its headlights, what a dumbass. Huh, what the! Oh hell."

I saw more climbing out of car windows than in an entire season of Dukes of Hazard.

But then it started to sink in - the rain was not letting up, and it was getting closer and closer to quitting time. We needed to gather provisions. To protect the innocent, let's just say that beer was procured. Someone broke out a deck of cards, and we proceeded to play Texas Hold'Em. All in all, a good time was had by all that stayed. I headed out once the long line of cars finally left the office park, and even at the time I left I was a little worried by the height of the water. But all turned out well and I made it home with a nice, dry car.

Actual E-mail Received Today

2006-01-26T22:48:00.000-05:00

This is an actual email received today in regards to my company's new intranet. Keep in mind the people sending this and other similar e-mails manage other people's life savings.

I've replaced the name of our intranet with the word "Orgrasms." Let's see if anyone notices.

"I will not put my thoughts into words about Orgasms. If you want to know my thoughts, call me at..."

This person's clients would be better off keeping their money in one of these.

Passively-aggressively taking out anger since 2005!

Things I am excited about

2006-01-22T19:10:00.000-05:00

Continuing the theme of cheap, quick, thoughtless blog posts, I bring you...things I'm excited about.

The bet Hubby and I have over the Seahawks / Panthers game. Any way - I win :)
The start of the Bay Area Renaissance Festival - looking forward to again dressing up in pseudo-garb to stroll around a dusty field, spending too much money and drinking way too much beer. As long as Scrimshaw On Crystal is there, I'll be happy.
Valentine's Day dinner at Cafe Ponte. It was Valentine's Day 2004 (observed), and a waitress at Cafe Ponte suggested (with my now hubby's prodding) that we go to Napa Valley instead of a Sandals resort for our honeymoon. We figure we should go there to celebrate the moment. I only wanted to go to Sandals for one reason - they have a bar in t he pool.
Our first wedding anniversary is coming up in less than two months. We've made it one year baby! (Not to mention those 7 years we were together before we were married.) I love you. Can we open that bottle of Famous Gate now?
Hubby and I have almost finished watching season 5 of Babylon 5 together. It's getting harder and harder not to leak the details of what happens. So sue me, when I see a car bearing a license plate that read, "Ranger 1", it's hard not to say something about Ivanova acquiring that position.

Always look on the bright side of life

2006-01-08T13:27:00.000-05:00

Top 5 good things that came out of the Buccaneers losing to Redskins last night.

Money spent on the unused NFC Championship tickets will be applied to next season's ticket balance.
No heartwrenching, "Do we go to Detroit for the Super Bowl or sell the tickets for an obscene amount of money?" decision, if we won the Season Ticket Super Bowl lottery - again.
Seeing the Buccaneers win their first ever Super Bowl, in the lovely and warm San Diego > seeing the the Buccaneers at Super Bowl XL, in the city of Detroit (no description needed.)
Can use gift certificate for Sunday brunch at the Vinoy much sooner than expected.
No more drunken purchases of women's Bucs t-shirts, until next season. How many do I really need?

Oh, and our tailgating meal rocked: steak, shitake mushrooms, asparagus, cheddar and bacon twice-baked potatoes and a bottle Charles Krug Reserve wine brought back from Napa.

Until next year, one last look at our home away from home

And one last time this season, since I only thought to make it last week - an artist's rendering of me in my personalized Buc's jersey.

Umm, that's not Asia CNN

2005-12-31T10:55:00.000-05:00

What, they couldn't find a picture of a new year's celebration in Asia for their story so they had to go to a different continent? I know it's a pretty picture, but why do I have the feeling that somewhere in America someone is saying to themselves, "Wow, we should go to Asia and see the Sydney Opera House!"

I had several good ideas for blog topics last night...

2005-12-31T09:54:00.000-05:00

while I was tossing and turning in bed. Of course I didn't get up and blog, or even write any of them down. They are now lost. Oh well. Maybe my new year's resolution will be to jump on the computer when an idea hits me. At least then I would have more than one post per month (right Tickgirl)

Now it is time to wrap up some lose ends before 2006

Thanks Santa for the Office Space (with Flair!), not to mention the Airplane! DVD. You really know the way to my heart.
The winner of the U2 Concert Photo Caption Contest^TM goes to - L! Congrats L, here's your prize: a linky to your blog - RANDOM_SPEAK
Work is a little better, I think. It was nice to hear some praise from my boss' boss, after feeling like I work in utter anonymity.
Go Bucs! And, for good measure since the Buc's playoff picture is so confusing right now, go Falcons!
Why doesn't Blogger's spell check include the word "blog" as a valid word?

And one last parting picture to bring a smile to your face. No, I don't know why they are wearing wife beaters. My husband can get a little silly sometimes.

A Stroke From the Brush... would like to wish everyone a safe and happy New Year! See you in 2006.

I Should Have Been A Pair of Ragged Claws...

2005-12-15T23:29:00.000-05:00

It's the Crab Man People.
Don't any of you watch TV?

Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. ¹

After a day like today, that almost sounds as good as winning the lottery.

I've had it. I have the distinct feeling I am being taken advantage of in a certain professional situation.

Oh, and Randal is an ass. I was all for him until the end. Jackass!

¹ If you are wondering, check out my man J. Alfred

Have Yourself A Happy ____________!

2005-12-11T09:24:00.000-05:00

In order to avoid a boycott by certain religious groups who feel that the use of the term "Happy Holidays" is an attempt to eradicate Christmas from the face of the planet, A Stroke From the Brush... will refrain from using the term "Happy Holidays" at all cost this December. No, every chance we get, we will say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Jesus' Birthday" instead of "Happy Holidays." "Happy Holidays" will not appear in print, or escape from our lips. Every time you say "Happy Holidays," an angel loses its wings.

In fact, when the Salvation Army bellringer wished me a "Happy Holidays" the other day, I should have taken the opportunity to set her straight and take back my dollar out of the kettle. How dare a supposed Christian, raising money to help poor and hungry people, wish me a Happy Holidays! And the President of our own country, Mr W. Himself, sent out cards wishing his supporters "Happy Holidays." Sure, the cards contained a Bible verse, but it was from the Old Testament. That doesn't really count, does it?

No, you will see no "Happy Holidays" from this blog. We would not want to confuse anyone who would mistake the holiday part of "Happy Holidays" for Groundhog Day or Father's Day. It's a shame that many national retail stores have shirked their responsibilities to those out there who have a problem remembering what holiday the vast majority of the country is celebrating in late December. They must be reminded that Christmas is coming every moment from Labor Day until New Years. They should be pumping in Christmas music and hanging tacky wreaths from the light poles in their parking lots. But alas, it is very hard to tell that is almost Christmas with all the running about saying "Happy Holidays" to everyone.

So, in conclusion, A Stroke From the Brush... would like to wish everyone a Happy and/or Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Yule/New Jersey Statehood Day (Dec. 18)/Winter Solstice/Etc. (Remember, the solstice is the reason for the season.)

Whew, that's a lot to say. I wish we had something a little shorter we could say instead.

Bucs 30, Falcons 27

2005-11-20T16:33:00.000-05:00

Hey Bob, how would you describe Atlanta's last field goal attempt?

Answer

Photo Caption Contest! (Or U2 Miami, part uno)

2005-11-16T18:52:00.000-05:00

Since I'm feeling a bit under the weather right now (third cold in as many months, WTF!) I thought I'd let my reader(s?) take a shot at writing this blog. Hubby and I attended the U2 concert in Miami last Sunday. The concert was awesome, but how is it that I always end up standing behind Abnormally Tall Man and his friends at general admission concerts? I mean seriously, do they all get together and show up 10 hours before concerts just to block the view?

Anyways, hubby took this picture and I feel it needs a proper caption. My brain is too fried to write one due to all the cold meds. I'm thinking some sort of quasi-religious experience kind of caption.

The winner will see their caption included in the next edition of "A Stroke From the Brush...", along with their name and a linky to their blog (if you'd like.) We spare no expense.

Caption Me!

What I want for Christmas: Office Space - Special Edition With Flair!

2005-11-03T22:10:00.000-05:00

I've been told not to buy this since Santa already has it on his list for me. I should not buy it now because I can buy several plants for the yard with the $20 it would take to buy this (or $13.99 if I buy it now.) Yea, I'm not waiting.

Somehow, I've managed to hold off buying this cinema gem so far, even with lines like:

Bob: Looks like you've been missing quite a bit of work lately, Peter. Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't say I've been MISSING it, Bob.

Not to mention "PC load letter?! What the fuck does that mean?!"
(I love the fact that someone added this to Wikipedia)

Oh yea, and Gary Cole (Lumbergh!) was also Captain Matthew Gideon on Crusade (that's the Babylon 5 spinoff to you heathens) and the voice of Harvey Birdman.

Happy Halloween and Babylon 5 Scripts Now for Sale

2005-10-31T20:42:00.000-05:00

First off, Happy Halloween to all you hep bats and funky witches!

Now, down to business. What's the first e-mail greeting me this morning in my inbox? A notice from babylon5scripts.com that they've put the first of 15 Babylon 5 script books up for sale! The books will contain all episodes written by JMS (92 in all) - and more! It's so nice to read an e-mail written by JMS (I'm assuming, it sounded like him) instead of the usual work related drek first thing in the morning.

If you act before Nov. 5 (10 pm Pacific) , you can get Book One for $10 off the regular price ($29.99 instead of $39.99)

Seriously, go...now!

Channel surfing, Saturday Morning

2005-10-29T13:20:00.000-04:00

a.k.a., I feel like I should post something, but can't think of anything good to write about.

I woke up at 4am this morning and could not go back to sleep, I watched:

A Discovery Channel (I think) show about the history of card counting (good to know an M.I.T. education is good for something.)
From Adult Swim on Demand - The Space Ghost: Coast to Coast episode "Evil Twin!" with Sam Butera.
From Cartoon Network on Demand - an episode of The Flintstones. I'm surprised PETA doesn't scream about that show, it was rife with animal cruelty:
- Fred rode around on a small dinosaur pony (obviously torturing the small animal with his weight)
- The bus driver pulled the tail of a monkey to make it ring the bus's bell
- Bus riders shoved coins down the throat of a bird
- Wilma used a miniature wooly mammoth/elephant looking being to vacuum the floor.
- Fred pulled a tail feather out of the bird in his cuckoo clock to tickle the vacuum cleaner when it became clogged.
- Obviously everyone is wearing animal skins

A terrible episode of MacGyver where Mac falls asleep and dreams he is a cowboy. No, not the first cowboy episode, the second one. Same bad mustache though.

After MacGyver, I took a break and potted some tomato plants and cleaned up some weeds in the front yard, then I watched a T.V. Land show about the top 40 TV theme songs (Greatest American Hero was not included!)

I think that was enough mindless TV to rot my brain for one day. I'm vowing to get up now and do something constructive (I am washing clothes if that counts.) I must go pick up clothes from the dry cleaners so I have something to wear to the Halloween/Birthday party I am attending tonight. I am going as my alter-ego Karen Walker. This will be the second time in two years that I go as Karen. I like pretending I'm a loud, obnoxious, boozing millionaire with big boobs one night of the year.

It's Alive, It's Alive!

2005-10-04T21:39:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the launch of our new content management system for our intranet. Hundreds of Thousands of HTML pages are being converted into a beautifully simple, horribly complex CMS. When I left work today, what song was playing on the radio?

REM's "It's the End Of the World As We Know It"

Yea, I drank a bottle of wine tonight.

What's keeping me sane today?

2005-10-03T15:15:00.000-04:00

Question: What's the last thing I want to do after spending all day entering content into our new content management system?

Answer: Blog. So, needless to say, I'm not posting much of late.

One thing that is helping, I pulled out the Police box set Message in a Box and I'm listening to that all day. I credit it with keeping me sane today.

Are You Ready for Some...Pat Downs?

2005-09-24T10:45:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday hubby and I attended the Tampa Bay Buccaneers home opener against the Buffalo Bills. The home opener is always extra special;besides the excitement and anticipation of the game on the field, it's also the first real tailgating event of the season.

We decided to make the meal extra special to properly celebrate the start of a new season. Once the tent was pitched, the table assembled, the Super Bowl banner hung with care and the chairs carefully placed out of direct sun, we popped open a bottle of Domaine Chandon sparkling wine to toast what will hopefully be a winning season. We sat back and surveyed the scene, watching our fellow fans in parking lot #9.

After polishing off the Chandon, we opened up a bottle we brought back from Napa Valley: Frog’s Leap Pink. The day we visited Frog’s Leap Winery, the weather was just about as hot as a typical September football game in Tampa. We were nearing the end of our visit in Napa, and after a night at the French Laundry, I was feeling a bit sluggish and tired of wine tasting (gasp!) At the start of the tour, the guide offered us a glass of this wonderful French-style rose, chilled perfectly. I perked up immediately. This is not your mom’s syrupy White Zin, but rather a dry, crisp wine perfect for a hot summer day. I bought a bottle to bring home, specifically for the first home game of the season, and it tasted as wonderful as it did that hot day in Rutherford.

Next came lunch, grilled lobster tails and vegetables, with couscous (cooked at home the night before.) Sure, it would have been fitting to cook up some Buffalo burgers, but if you’re going to celebrate, do it right.

We were warned that we could expect longer lines entering the stadium this season, now that the NFL and Buccaneers finally convinced (forced) the Tampa Sports Authority to pat down everyone entering good ole Raymond James. We packed up a bit earlier then normal and started our march for the stadium. Maybe it was due to leaving earlier, but the lines were no longer than normal. Now, mind you, the pater-downers were instructed to only pat-down above the waist line, because we all know that terrorists would never strap a bomb to their calf. After the one-two pat (seriously, it consisted of all of two pats), we found our seats and cheered on our Bucs as they defeated the Bills.

Next up: Bucs at Green Bay - Sunday, 1pm. Wine - ?

The Great Maker Has Spoken - Alterting all Babylon 5 Fans!

2005-09-23T10:48:00.000-04:00

JMS has announced that every episode of Babylon 5 will be released in paperback form starting in October 2005. To quote the Great Maker From JMSnews.com:

All 91 Babylon 5 scripts that I wrote are going to be made available through an independent publishing firm in trade paperback form. We're still working out the final details in terms of how to put the scripts together, but right now the plan is to do 7 scripts per book, each volume released every two weeks or so, at a cost of about $29 per volume if ordered in the first week or so it comes online)
...
On top of THAT...some of the books will contain rare b&w photos from myown personal archives, taken by me on set, which have never before beenseen by anyone else.

There's much more, including information on the version of The Gathering, which will be made available. To read more go to http://www.jmsnews.com/msg.aspx?id=1-17383

Receive alerts via e-mail when the scripts are released by signing up at http://www.babylon5scripts.com/

Go, Go Now!

And now for something completely different

2005-09-14T20:09:00.000-04:00

Rather than post here, which would be so obvious, I've created a new post on a new blog by CrazyDogWine.com Enterprises^Â©TMSM1, http://crazydogwine.blogspot.com/.

I've been a little too preoccupied with A Stroke From The Brush... to worry about updating our original site, crazydogwine.com. Hubby thought creating a blog would be a good way to get me motivated.

Really, it's only a recipe for a sun-dried tomato sauce Defjickie² found at foodtv.com and modified, but I hold it in such highadmirationn I thought it deserved its own post.

¹ Doesn't exist, unless you count my husband, my two dogs, and me.
² "J" or "the Hubby" will now be know as "Defjickie". Apparently it goes way back and is his "nickname." Yes, I knew of this nickname before we were married.

To Serve Zorak

2005-09-10T11:49:00.000-04:00

Found it! Here is the Space Ghost script with guest Alton Brown I wrote a few years ago for my Alton Brown website. The website is no more, but I felt the need to resurrect this. It still makes me laugh.

If you've never seen Space Ghost, this may not make much sense to you. You can try reading this summary from Wikipedia. Or, better yet, go watch the episodes on DVD.

Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Episode #??? - To Serve Zorak

Synopsis: Tonight is Coast to Coast's monthly pot luck dinner. The boys have each brought in a dish but something goes terribly wrong with one of the dishes. Space Ghost calls in Alton Brown, creator, writer and host of "Good Eats" on the show to help them solve their culinary quandary.

TRANSCRIPT:

(WAITING)

INT. CAFETERIA - SPACE GHOST, ZORAK AND MOLTAR ARE STANDING AROUND THE CAFETERIA TABLE, LOOKING AT A DISH OF FOOD

ZORAK: What is it?

MOLTAR: It's Linda's special 5 alarm chili.

SPACE GHOST: (Lifting spoon to mouth to taste) Oww! My tongue, my tongue is bunt. Zoak, get me a gwass of wata. Cuses, I can't say my aaaars.

MOLTAR: I guess she shouldn't have used actual molten lava in the recipe.

SPACE GHOST: AAAAAHHHHWWWW!

ZORAK: (LAUGH) He he, his special powers can't save him now.

SPACE GHOST: No, but I can still bwast you!

SPACE GHOST: We need a weel chef on this show. Get me Alton Bwoun!

(OPENING THEME & TITLES)

INT - SPACE GHOST: COAST TO COAST SET. SPACE GHOST BEHIND DESK, ZORAK AT KEYBOARDS

SPACE GHOST: Zorak, remind me that Moltar is never allowed to bring a dish to pot luck night again.

ZORAK: So you liked my 5 bug salad?

SPACE GHOST: Ah, on second night, let's cancel pot luck night. So, Moltar, who do we have on tonight's show?

MOLTAR: Ah, you asked for Alton Brown, so he's here

SPACE GHOST: That quick?

MOLTAR: He lives in Atlanta

SPACE GHOST: Welcome citizen Alton Brown! So you're from Atlanta.

ALTON BROWN: Why, yes I am.

SPACE GHOST: Alton, next time you see Ted Turner, would you let him know he still owes me for taking care of that little job for him (SPACE GHOST WINKS)

ALTON BROWN: Well, I don't think I'll run into Ted Turn...

SPACE GHOST: (CUTTING OFF ALTON) Alton, may I call you AB? AB, how is the oxygen.

ALTON BROWN: It's fine, though I smell a bit of smoke in the air.

SPACE GHOST: That's why we brought you here, you see, we need a new dish for our pot luck night.

ZORAK: Yea, Space Ghost's made everyone sick for a week.

SPACE GHOST: Watch it Mantis. So, what do you suggest AB?

ALTON BROWN: Well, what ingredients do you have.

SPACE GHOST: (SHRUGGING) I dunno. We have Mantis.

ZORAK: Hey!

ALTON BROWN: Well, I don't know any recipes for mantis, if I could only talk to a nutritional anthropologist.

SPACE GHOST: (YELLING) Moltar...phone book, nutritional anthropologist...extrapolate!

MOLTAR: Oh, this isn't going to be pretty.

(THROWS LEVER, PHONE BOOK APPEARS ON CONTROL ROOM MONITOR SOUND OF PHONE DIALING, THEN RINGING, AND ANSWER)

OPERATOR: Your call is being connected with the next nutritional anthropologist. Please stay on the line.

(DEBORAH DUCHON, NUTRITIONAL ANTHROPOLOGIST, APPEARS ON THE SCREEN WITH ALTON)

DEBORAH DUCHON: Mantis has been eaten since 5000 BC in most areas of the world, except the United States. It was traditionally boiled in a large pot with a mixture of herbs and spices, and served with drawn butter; much like a lobster is now.

ALTON: Thanks Deborah, I knew we could count on you.

DEBORAH: No problem Alton, catch you next time

SPACE GHOST: MMM, Butter!

ZORAK: I am not a mantis, I am a locust¹, besides, I would not taste very good with butter.

SPACE GHOST: You're a mantis, we're not going through that again. So AB, what do you need?

ALTON BROWN: We need a large non-reactive metal pot, water, kosher salt, butter and old bay.

SPACE GHOST: Old Bay? Why do you want Zorak to taste like an old sailor??

ALTON BROWN: An old sailor, I don't understand I said old bay, it's a spice...

SPACE GHOST: (CUTTING OFF ALTON) Exactly, Old Bay, what sailors put on after they come back from fishing trips to cover up O'de Shrimp.

ALTON BROWN: (UNDERSTANDING SPACE'S MISTAKE) Oh, I see, you're thinking of "Old Spice." Old Bay is a blend of herbs and spices. Well, just add kosher salt to the pot of water and bring to a boil. Once the water is boiling, add the mantis and cook until done. Then just serve with some melted butter and a wedge of lemon.

ZORAK: (ZORAK RAISES APPENDAGE) Hey, don't I have some say in this?

SPACE GHOST: A watched pot never boils AB, you should know that, you're a chef. I'll just blast Zorak and he'll be ready to eat (SPACE GHOST RAISES HIS POWER BAND AT ZORAK)

MOLTAR: Uh, uh, Alton, I suggest you duck and cover. (ALTON DUCKS UNDER THE MONITOR)

SPACE GHOST: I had a new band installed last week, it's called the super boiler 2000 (SPACE GHOST SHOOTS AND BLASTS ZORAK, AN EXPLOSION OCCURS, ZORAK IS NOW COVERED WITH SOOT AND IS SMOKING.)

ALTON BROWN: Um, I think you over did him.

SPACE GHOST: (TURNING WRIST OVER) They gave me the Power BRoiler 5000! I asked for the BOILER!! Whatever happened to good old fashioned customer service!

ZORAK: Owww, one of these days I've got to get a lawyer.

SPACE GHOST, MOLTAR AND ALTON ALL LAUGH TOGETHER

(CLOSING CREDITS)

¹ There is much debate over whether Zorak is mantis or locust. Zorak has referred to himself as both. In the episode Hungry he states, "I am the Lone Locust of the Apocalypse! Think of me when you look to the night sky!" yet in the episode Punch he says, "Look me up, I'm a mantis. Lokar is the locust."

Strange News Story Of the Week

2005-09-10T11:16:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling a bit lazy today, so I'm just going to direct my reader(s?) over to a rather weird news story I found at MSNBC.

Florida landlords sue over ghostly fear : Owners sue restaurateurs who won't move into building they say is haunted

And my favorite quote from the article:

"I asked them if these were good ghosts or bad ghosts, and if they were good ghosts why it was a problem," said David Simmons, an attorney representing the building's owners, who include boy band promoter Lou Pearlman. Simmons is also a member of the state House.

While searching for a pic to include with this post, I stumbled upon a graphic I created a few years ago. The picture accompanied a "transcriptript" I wrote for Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, with very special guest star Alton Brown. The website where this picture resided no longer exists, but the image is still showing up in Google Images. I was really quite proud of that little story, I hope I still have it somewhere. If I find it I'll post it next.

A little neglectful of my blogging duties...

2005-09-01T21:16:00.000-04:00

The title of this post says it all, I've been a little neglectful of my blogging duties. Besides battling a nasty cold, my attention has been focused on the tragedy brought about by Hurricane Katrina. I spent all day Monday on the couch, drinking OJ while flipping channels between CNN, MSNBC and FoxNews (which, if you know me, is quite unlike me.)

Since I live in St. Pete, on the peninsula of Pinellas County, connected to the larger peninsula of Florida, we have been discussing what we would do should a hurricane like Katrina come for us. Though we live in a non-evacuation, non-flood zone, in a nice solid brick house, we have decided we're leaving the state if anything approaching a Cat. 3 comes our way. If you live anywhere near me, I highly suggest you check out this article from the St. Petersburg Times, which estimates what could happen in Tampa Bay given different category hurricanes. It's not pretty.

If you are looking for a charity to donate money to to help the Katrina survivors, after donating to needy and worthy charitys like the Red Cross and the Salvation Army, please consider giving some money to help the pets left behind or lost during Hurricane Katrina. Noah's Wish's sole purpose is to help animals during disasters.

In other news, work is driving me crazy again (as usual.) Besides my large project converting our entire intranet (10,000+ pages) to a content management system, they decided to let go a young woman fresh out of college who worked very closely with me. Not an unusual thing, but they've asked her to finish up a project she is working on, which requires her to stay on for a few weeks. I've never heard of a company firing someone and then asking them to stay. I don't know who is more dumb, her for staying on (though she needs the money and time to find a way out of her lease) or my company for firing someone and then asking them to stay on for 2 weeks! I give her much credit though, since at her age I was finding many ways to screw up my life.

I don't feel like I can bitch too much about work though now; there are too many people who would kill to have to worry about going to work tomorrow.

A Toast To U.S. District Judge James D. Whittemore!

2005-08-13T21:05:00.000-04:00

O Happy Day!

On August 10, 2005, U.S. District Judge James D. Whittemore struck down the Florida law banning out-of-state wine shipments to Florida residents. The law barred Florida wine lovers from purchasing wine over the internet (or through other means except in person) from non-Florida wineries and retailers. Sure, Florida residents could legally buy wine over the internet (or phone or mail order, if you are into that sort of thing) from in-state stores and wineries, but they could not do the same thing from a winery from the other 49 states without committing a felony.

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled similar laws in Michigan and New York to be unconstitutional in May since, among other reasons, it conflicts with the Commerce Clause of the U.S. Constitution. Now that the law has been ruled unconstitutional, Florida lawmakers could chose to do one of two things

Ban all internet/mail-order/telephone orders in and out of state (Boo!)

Allow all internet internet/mail-order/telephone orders in and out of state (Yea!)

In honor of the ruling (and the awesome pancetta wrapped pork roast I made tonight), hubby and I opened a bottle of wine we purchased during our honeymoon to Napa Valley last March. Tonight we enjoyed the Frank Family Vineyards 2002 Napa County chardonnay. This chard almost doesn't remind me of a chard, which can be a good thing. The oak is under control, and adds a layer of richness to the wine, but it is balanced by a bright quality that keeps it refreshing. Residents of CA, CO, ID, IL, IA, MN, MO, NM, ND, OR, WA, WV, W can order the 2004 Chardonnay from their website now, but hopefully we will be able to replace our bottle in the near future.

How very MacGyver of you

2005-08-06T23:31:00.000-04:00

After trading in our old cable box for a spiffy new-fangled DVR model, I have rediscovered the joy of MacGyver, which reruns on TV Land and Spike TV every weekday.

Apparently, I am not the only one to feel the MacGyver vibe recently. The St. Petersburg Times recently wrote an editorial praising the wondrous properties of Duct Tape. (No, I am not making that up¹; it must be a very slow month for controversial issues.) My own husband channeled his inner Mac by creating an anti-squirrel baffle for our bird feeder out of disposable pie pans and duct tape. It worked for a short time until the squirrels learned how to stand on the pans. Damn squirrels.

Even our own government got into the MacGyverism act a few years ago when it suggested that duct tape could save us from chemical and biological attacks by using it and plastic sheets to seal in all windows and doors.

All real-life MacGyvers (that would exclude the U.S. Government) can submit their MacGyverisms for an upcoming book "What Would MacGyver Do" at the website WhatWouldMacGyverDo.com. You could also don one of 80stees.com's T-shirts. Personally, I much prefer WWMD? to WWJD?

And finally, Patty and Selma - Marge Simpson's sisters - will finally get their wish when Richard Dean Anderson makes a very special guest appearance during this season on The Simpsons.

¹Lord I miss Dave Barry on Sunday Mornings.

Continuing on the "Baby Got Back" theme...

2005-08-06T10:33:00.000-04:00

Click this - now!
http://www.whiteboydj.com/babygotbook2.html

AHHHHH!

Remarkably Bad Marketing Idea, Ver. 1.0

2005-07-28T21:30:00.000-04:00

Tonight I witnessed a remarkably bad marketing idea thought up during an apparent after-work booze party - otherwise known as a "Bonding Experience." I speak of such things due to my vast knowledge of combing "booze" and "marketing" at these bonding experiences. Usually in my line of work though they just result in really cool Halloween skits (we kicked ass last year!), but apparently for one well known company, they result in national advertising campaigns.

During NBC's rerun of "Must See TV" (aka Joey and Will and Grace Reruns on a Thursday night when nothing better is on) I witnessed the apparent arrival of the Anti-Christ. A back-to-school commercial for Target featured a re-imagined version of the classic "Baby Got Back." Yes, Sir Mix-A-Lot's ode to big booty was reworded to hawk spiral bound notebooks and pencil sharpener (pun intended.)

At first I was appalled to see pre-pubescent children smiling along to a song that includes the lyrics:

My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon

But then I thought, Hell Yea! Some drunken marketing idiots actually passed off a ridiculously bad idea and a major corporation actually bought it! I can't believe someone actually green-lit a commercial for children with the tune from Baby Got Back!

Correction: Blog subtitle was incorrect

2005-07-26T20:33:00.000-04:00

Kosh's Blog regrets to reform its reader(s) that a mistake was made during publication. The original Blog subtitle/quote/thingy that read, "A stroke from the bush does not guarantee art from the bristles." was intended to read, "A stroke from the brush does not guarantee art from the bristles."

In light of this mistake, Kosh's Blog would like to present this list of disclaimers

All rights reserved. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited by law. All applicable laws apply. Subject to credit approval. Do not drink and blog. No animals were harmed during the production of this blog. Tax not included. Do not fold, mutilate or spindle. Do not use in or near water. Do not combine old batteries with new batteries. Discontinue use of this blog if you encounter tingling, itching, dizziness, slurred speech or coma. Do not use while sleeping¹. Blog is non-toxic, but should not be taken internally. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Kosh's Blog would like to express its apologies to all those it offended with this mistyping, including the entire Vorlon race.

¹ Actual disclaimer from my hairdryer's manual

The newest addition to our family

2005-07-23T07:35:00.000-04:00

Now that we have decided on a new name, it's time for the newest member of our family to make his internet debut. Everyone, meet Chekhov...

"Woof!"

Chekhov, or "Cheky" to his friends, is an American Eskimo. We adopted Chekhov from Pet Pal Rescue in St. Petersburg; a no-kill organization that takes in animals with adoption problems from other shelters.

Cheky came with the name "Klondike", but we never really warmed-up to that name (pun intended?) Although American Eskimos are believed to be descended from German Spitz breeds (and have nothing to do with Alaska), I felt he needed some sort of Russian name. Hubby and I tested out names like "Ivan" and "Boris" and even debated "Vodka" and "Stoli" but quickly nixed those since we don't want to look like total lushes. Then, one day Hubby came up with the name Chekhov and it stuck.

If you are wondering, yes we are geeks. Cheky is named after Star Trek's Pavel "Nuclear Wessels" Chekhov, though I think my favorite Walter Koening role is as the evil Psi Cop Bester in Babylon 5 (ha, I snuck in a B5 connection!) So far the few people that have met Cheky in person think he is named after Russian writer Anton Chekhov. Who says Americans are not literary!

Our older dog Winter is starting to get used to the idea of another dog in the family, though they seem to ignore each other most of the time. Chekhov is quite the clown compared to Winter, and will happily roll on his back so he can have his belly rubbed.

Name that insect!

2005-07-07T20:24:00.000-04:00

Shortly upon moving into our new home, we discovered we are not alone. We found the creature to the right hanging out on a ficus tree in the front yard. This afternoon I spotted him lounging around on the front bench.

Obviously (to those familiar with all things Kosh related), I have named him N'Grath .

Since I know one of my two readers is quite fluent in all things bug related, I thought maybe you might be able to name this grasshopper looking dude. Should we stock pile canned goods now to avoid running out of food when he and his friends strip the land bare, or is he harmless?

By way of comparison, here is a photo of N'Grath compared to your everyday standard envelope.

Separated at Birth?

2005-06-19T12:49:00.000-04:00

Charlie Crist, Florida's Attorney General and Republican candidate for Governor.	Exeter (Jeff Morrow), from the planet Metaluna in the Science Fiction classic "This Island Earth".

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2005-06-16T21:57:00.000-04:00

Turn and face the strange ch-ch-changes!

Wow, so much is changing. In less than a week, I will be the proud owner of a house. I can not fathom that I will own something that costs less than a few thousand dollars in less than a week.

I am beginning to understand the allure of renting. Right now I am trying to keep the myriad of names straight - Julie is processing our loan, Judy works at the Title company, and when my Eastern-European realtor tries to talk to me over the phone, Julie and Judy sound exactly the same.

Then, I remember what a pain in the ass it is to rent -

Apparently, 10 people are raising two children and one VERY loud dog next door.
No one in my building can remember when garbage is picked up, which makes for very interesting scenes in the morning after the Florida wildlife have had their way with the garbage cans.
The "lake" (aka retention pond) reeks right now.
There is a used-car lot in the front of the complex, filled with every known POS circa 1998. If you act now, many come with expired license tags from exotic locations such as Ohio and Colorado.
I have to brave an unprotected intersection, with cars coming off the interstate at 65+ miles an hour, to enter my complex.
I do my laundry in the community laundry room, and then pull freshly washed clothes out of the drier only to have the person next to me exhale their cigarette smoke onto them (did I mention all the flammable lint dumped onto the floor and the natural gasoline heated driers in the laundry room?)

On top of that, I am (one of a few) overseeing the change of my company's intranet from 10's of thousands of html pages to a content management system. There is way too much going on there to even think of typing about it, but today, one of my "authors" (none know HTML, so web designer is not an appropriate title) begins to wax poetic about her disgust with the change. Hello - you have 4 FREAKIN PAGES TO CONVERT! I have other authors with 80+ pages that must be converted. I can barley get this woman off the phone on a good day. Imagine my horror when she is sitting right in front of me, in a little training classroom tucked away where no one will find my body.

With all of that being said, here are the Things that are keeping me sane

NewsRadio - The Complete First & Second Seasons - This was my gift to myself for my birthday. I loved this show when it first aired and I often watched reruns, but a few years ago it disappeared from TV. Phil Hartman was one of the funniest men ever, but the rest of the cast keeps up with him. It stars "The Kids in the Hall's" Dave Foley and the wonderful Maura Tierny, but Jimmy James, played by the great Stephen (" I believe you have my stapler") Root, is one of the craziest characters ever on network TV.

Little Penguin Chardonnay - It's cheap and pretty darn good. Not quite as good as my Bogle, but it will do in a pinch.

MXC - It's not on as often as it used to be, but it's still f-ing funny, especially after drinking a few glasses of Little penguin Chardonnay. If you've never seen it, thing the Iron Chef - drunk and stoned, taking a few illicit drugs, horny and on spring vacation. Let's Get It On.
Something else I can't think of, but I wanted to have an even number.

Heaven on a plate - Cafe Ponte

2005-06-01T22:43:00.000-04:00

Last night my husband (not used to using that word yet) and I went to Cafe Ponte for our belated b-day/early b-day dinner (don't ask.) We love Cafe Ponte, but we do not go often enough. It has been over a year since our last visit, and we were a bit saddened to see that a few of our favorites are no longer on the menu (R.I.P Tuna Trio). However, new additions make up for the deletions, and we left with very happy stomach!

Groth Winery

First, I should let you know that we have never eaten an entree at Ponte; we never make it past the appetizer size of the menu. To start the night we ordered two glasses of the 2004 Groth Sauvignon Blanc. I have decided after visiting Groth on our honeymoon, and purchasing several bottles since we returned, that Groth's SB is my favorite of all time.

Next, the waiter brought us over espresso cups filled with a tomato bisque type soup. I missed exactly what it was because I was so excited and surprised to see a restaurant in Tampa Bay serving an amuse bouche. I was first introduced to this practice while in Napa, and I heartily suggest more restaurants adopt this practice.

We ordered the Tuna Duo, which was good but we miss the Tuna Trio (the waiter informed us that it does show up from time to time on the specials.) The next dish more than made up for it. What used to be a sauteed foie gras dish is now called the Foie Gras Burger. Here is the description from their menu:

Foie Gras Burger
With duck confit, caramelized apples, shallot jam on toasted
pumpkin brioche and sweet potato fries

It was the size of a white castle burger, and it tasted like heaven! The bright orange sweet potato fries were crispy and tasty and a great accompaniment. My dear husband tried to claim sole ownership over the burger, but we compromised and split it down the middle.

Not the Foie Gras Burger

Other wonderful apps we tried that night were the Diver Scallops, Oysters Ponte and the Beef Tartar. I topped off dinner with the Warm Chocolate Souffle (Upside down chocolate souffle served with Tahitian vanilla ice cream) and a late harvest sauvignon blanc.

If you are anywhere in the Tampa Bay area, and at all enjoy food, I strongly recommend that you visit Cafe Ponte as soon as possible. As long as you are there, you might as well try an entree. We will some day.

e-Bay watch

2005-05-28T19:52:00.000-04:00

The Book of G'Kar - $11,199.99 (reserve not met yet), 1 day 1 hour to go

Sponsor some poor shlubs' wedding - $8.50, 14 hours 19 minutes

Lurking on e-Bay instead of buying - priceless.

Can I include a television prop in my home mortgage?

2005-05-26T21:12:00.000-04:00

The great maker JMS is auctioning off a special piece of Babylon 5 history on e-Bay – The Book of G'Kar. For those not familiar with the Book of G'Kar, please refer to its Wikipedia entry.

As of the creation of this post, the auction is at $10,200, and the reserve is not met yet. Is it wrong of me to consider, even for a second, that if I up the amount of my mortgage I might be able to afford it? No, I'm not sure I'm ready to admit I am that big of a SF geek.

No, I think I will wait for the Book of G'Quan

This wedding brought to you by Staples and Viagra!

2005-05-19T19:53:00.000-04:00

Can't afford the wedding of your dreams? Why not find advertisers to sponsor your wedding? I know what you're asking, wouldn't I need to be a mega-celebrity on the level of Star Jones to find advertisers willing to pay me thousands of dollars? Why no, of course not. Don't believe me, check out this e-Bay auction.

Yes, you too can afford a Royal length train, though you may need to slap a Penzoil logo on it.

This just in: Supreme Court rules that ban on out-of-state wine shipments unconstitutional!!

2005-05-16T11:10:00.000-04:00

Pop open the bubbly!

From CNN.com, Monday, May 16, 2005 Posted: 11:08 AM EDT

High court: Ban on out-of-state wine shipments unconstitutional

Actual company name seen recently...

2005-04-16T13:24:00.000-04:00

on a truck in the parkling lot of my apartment complex:

"Casual Towing"

I prefer "Black Tie Optional Towing" myself.

Yes, Elvis really was at my wedding

2005-03-20T13:49:00.000-05:00

I'm ready for my vacation Mr. DeMille

2005-02-19T22:15:00.000-05:00

There is a reason that you go on a honeymoon after your wedding - you need the break before you shoot the next hapless clerk that wonders into your sights after you've waited in line at a craft store for umpteen hours just to buy a box of freakin' candles. Is there some sort of pre-President's day workers' strike that I don't know about? Is there some sort of a work slowdown that I should be privy too?

Sorry, I've walked out of two stores today while waiting in line - before purchasing my goods - because the line took too damn long. Is every human being in the Tampa Bay area visiting T.J. Maxx and other various stores today??

What do I have left to do before the wedding?

1. Finalize the music for the ceremony. - Do you know how many versions of "Arrival of the Queen of Sheba" I've listened to?
2. Finalize the music for the reception. - We've been working on the reception music for over a YEAR! We are not finished yet.
3. Figure out the table assignments. - I do not hate myself enough to assign people to seats, but they are getting assigned to tables. I don't want a free for all with my Grandma getting trampled by someone who wants the seat closest to the buffet table.
4. Figure out who is coming to the Rehearsal Dinner. - This will be the first time my mother and father have been in the same room together since...the custody battle for me when I was in middle school. Yeah, I can't wait!
5. Write (more) thank you notes. - "Thank you for the lovely towels. We will think of you every time we dry our asses with them."
6. Buy lingerie for the honeymoon. - But you probably don't want to hear about that, do you?
7. Pack - self-explanitory
8. Attend Bachelorette party - attempt not to wake up with the worst hangover since New Years Eve 2001.
9. Assemble a bridal emergency kit - chalk (to cover up stains on the dress), nail polish (for runs), hair pins (in case up-do doesn't), champagne (self-explanitory), cab fare (just in case.)

Chardonnay and El Cap

2005-02-11T21:29:00.000-05:00

I went out to happy hour with co-workers after work to El Cap. So I made a pact with myself not to drink beer. I have a dress fitting tomorrow and beer is just evil when it comes to the dress fitting arena. I can’t afford to gain a pound or two because then I will have to have my dress re-altered. I don’t get this whole “buy your gown EIGHT freekin months ahead of the wedding” thing. I think it’s a conspiracy of the dress and alterations lady racket.

Well, I order Chardonnay (Inglenook.) Now, I was a little disappointed in the dearth of wine choices but it was not that bad. After yesterday’s St. Suprey Chardonnay, I was a little worried I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a cheapo wine. But, luckily, I thoroughly enjoyed by wine. Which might not be such a good thing, but oh well.

After plenty of “catching-up” (telling the same people for the 10th time that I’m going to Napa for my honeymoon), I watched the most intense math challenge ever known to man. (If mathematics majors want to contribute to society, they should hang out at happy hour locations and help co-workers decipher their checks .) Now I’m home watching Office Space for the millionth time on Bravo.

Life is good.

And on that note, I will leave you with this deep quote from Office Space:

"PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?"

Of course, as soon as I complain...

2005-02-11T10:31:00.000-05:00

The site magically starts working again. How convenient.

The entire Knot website is down!

2005-02-11T10:28:00.000-05:00

Ack, don't they know I'm a bride in my final days of wedding planning and I need my Knot fix! Usually it's just the message boards but today it is the whole freaking Knot that is down. It's only been a few hours, but my god man, what am I to do!

21 days, 13 hrs, 28 mins

Why didn't I think to set up a Pay Pal account for my wedding!

2005-02-08T20:03:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd heard it all: registry cards in wedding invites, requests to fund specific honeymoon events (scuba diving, snorkeling, etc.), but no, unfortunately, I had not seen it all ... until today. This is (supposedly) the follow-up to a real invitation someone received from a friend. I know weddings can be stressful, but at what point do you lose all sense of decency and actually ask guests to contribute to a paypall account to pay for the wedding expenses?!

-----------------------------------------------------------
We are delighted to have our community surround us on this special day. We are departing from tradition. We request your participation in a contribution for the Reception. In lieu of wedding gifts, please read below as to how you can add to the Reception celebration, a special time we will all enjoy.

PARTICIPATION OPTIONS

You may choose how you would like to participate by selecting one of the following options: Contribute via PayPal in whatever amount you feel comfortable to support the hors'derves at the reception festivities. Menu listed below: I'm contributing via PayPal

Bring a Bottle of Champagne to the reception. Click here I'm bringing Champagne

Contribute by preparing one of the following menu items listed below; Click here I'm bringing a dish, Please send recipe and drop off instructions - Please indicate which dish

You may have already contributed yourself and wish to participate this way. The hosts graciously thank you for your talent and love.

Thank you for contributing to our celebration!!!!!!

If possible, a response by February 21, 2005 would be greatly appreciated so we can finish organization and plan accordingly. We are honored to have our community come together and create a celebration to be remembered forever!

Proof that society, as we know it, is coming to an end. Part deux.

2005-02-02T16:34:00.000-05:00

Looking for a date this Valentine's day? Have you thought of checking e-Bay? For a limited time only, you can bid on a date with Nir, your friendly psychic poet. He will fly to you anywhere in the world on Valentine's day. You will even get a rose and a copy of his book of poetry.
http://tinyurl.com/57w9w

Personally, I think my spam poety is better.

Spam poetry

2005-01-30T13:19:00.000-05:00

Since turning off the automatic display of HTML graphics in email, I have discovered the joy of spam.

What, you say, the joy of spam, never!

No, really, there is a rich literary underworld to spam messages. Many spam companies include randomly generated text to (try to) foil spam filters. The html graphics contain the actual text of the message, so that the usual phrases that would cause the filter to block the message (Refinance now! Get the unit you deserve, while you sleep!) are not present in text form. Instead there is a stream of consciousness message, often more interesting than the product or service for sale.

Here, I give you the poetry of a viagra spam email. I have added no words, and have corrected no spelling errors, though I did play around a little with the formatting.

The ability to fly and nocturnal habits
The Mothmen have no company rich
and the telephone company poor.
Or at any rate, it was immediately lost.
I couldn't even tell which direction we were going.
They saw some Vultures waiting in trouble,
in the dark and wings to fly.
They are referred to by us as Mothmen.
They are used to strange events occurring
when mudders come to visit.
One winter a Farmer found a snake stiff and frozen with cold.
Virtual reality is being treated like some radical new Tourmaline.
Who would chirp you to sleep?
It allows for a vast array in the hollow of an oak,
crept into the hole and made a hearty where he had no chance of reaching her.
He called to her and the horns of the bull below his eyes,
so he might better see nestlings.
The Swallow, finding her nest empty, lamented greatly.

Democratic decentralized system

This decentralization can also not receive sufficient food.
When they are in this state, they are very manipulate
and fool the viewer.
This is not a bad thing, a compensation?

More brides need to be told this.

2005-01-29T11:39:00.000-05:00

Proof that society, as we know it, is coming to an end.

2005-01-29T01:29:00.000-05:00

The latest style in fashionable shoes - seen now at high school proms and a street corner near you. Nice to know they come with black ribbons too, for when you want to tone it down a bit.

Well here goes nothing

2005-01-28T23:30:00.000-05:00

Yea, so why did I do this? I don't know, it's hard enough keeping up with two websites (not counting the ones I don't update anymore) and the Knot, but here it goes. I'm in the process of planning a wedding, and it's 35 days away as of today, so I'm a tad bit preoccupied.

I'm looking forward to our honeymoon in Napa Valley. At least by then I won't have to deal with my mother hating my florist and the black bridesmaid dresses I picked out. The way her face looked when I told her the dresses would be black, you'd think I was putting them in some sort of a fishnet goth dress (which would have been appropriate if we were to get married where we met.) See, over there --->, that's a very attractive, classic little black cocktail dress, you'll just have to imagine it in black. Lord help us, someone is wearing black to my wedding.

And what part of "I'm not having a black and white wedding" doesn't she understand? I'm having a grand total of two bridesmaids. The rest of the wedding will still be in my original colors of some sort of a blue color, white, and some sort of a yellow color. I've been pretty non-committal about the colors, but it won't be black and white.

Lord, what have I done. Please stop me from babbling on about the wedding. It annoys me to hear myself prattle on about it. I should have spent the evening with my new copy of Greg the Bunny on DVD. Any show that has a stuffed ape saying lines like, "I've been keeping up with that pill dog for dog" is aces in my book.

Just remember kids

"In the end we all want the same things: Love, acceptance, and to luck our way into a cushy job we don’t deserve.” - Greg the Bunny